The Survivalist

My boss is a wealthy attorney who lives in an affluent suburb of Los Angeles. He appreciates luxury. In addition to his 9,000 square foot home, he has a 4,000 square foot beach house. He drives a luxury car. He wears a luxury watch. He collects and uses luxury pens.

One evening, he and his wife were going out to dinner with their friend B. and B.'s wife. B. was the IT manager for a big-five accounting firm. He was successful, intellectual and apparently quite urban working downtown in a large high rise building managing the computer systems and IT personnel.

The couples were going to a luxury restaurant, and even though it was not located far from their homes, they hired a limousine to drive them to the restaurant. They did not need to hire a limousine for any other purpose than to provide a greater sense of luxury as at least one person in the group did not drink alcohol so there was no need for a designated driver.

As the two couples were loading into the limousine, my boss noticed that his friend, B., who was wearing dress slacks and a jacket was also sporting a large backpack with all types of accoutrement hooked on. When asked, B. revealed that his backpack was full of various items that would help him survive in case of an emergency: a powerful flashlight, emergency Mylar blanket, packets of freeze dried food, a first aid kit, batteries, radio, etc. My boss asked B. why he had the backpack. B. explained he took it with him everywhere, all the time. "I am a survivalist," B. explained.

After much reassurance that they would probably survive dinner without the backpack, B. finally relented to leaving the backpack in the limousine while they dined.

Flexible Spending Account

My husband is part of the upper-management of a mid-sized, family owned business that employees approximately 100 workers in its warehouse/packing/distribution facility. Among other things, he handles human resources and insurance matters for the company. Almost all of the the employees are uneducated immigrants whose first language is Spanish. Many of the employees are clueless about how health insurance works.

The company recently started offering the employees Flexible Spending Accounts ("FSA") -- the tax deferred medical savings account that allows them to put aside pre-tax dollars to pay for medical and childcare services. For weeks, my husband tried to explain how the plan works to the employees, but no one seemed to understand. Eventually, he received some literature written in Spanish. My husband, with no self consciousness whatsoever, read the literature, in Spanish, to the employees. (My husband does not speak or read Spanish.)

The employees appreciated his efforts to read in Spanish. "Oh, you read better than my son who is in high school!," one employee exclaimed.

My husband was satisfied the employees began to understand the concept of FSA when one woman asked if the plan would cover boob jobs.

The Aneurysms

I went with my husband to a house party in honor of his 30th high school reunion. I was happy to go with him because there were a few people there who I am also friendly with, even though I am a few years younger than my husband and his cohorts. I was particularly pleased to see L.

L. is a bright, charismatic woman. She smiles easily, finding humor in almost any story. She is a renowned graphic artist who is about to launch her own stock photography business specializing in Hispanic images. She is intelligent, worldly, and a lot of fun.

L. met her husband (who is 20 years her senior) about five years ago while on a scuba diving trip. Not too long ago, they went to Jamaica for a vacation. While they were making love (he takes Viagra) she developed a mind splitting headache just as she was about to climax. She described the headache as the most unbearable pain she ever experienced -- like her brain was about to explode. They stopped and then started again later. Again, just as she was about to climax, she developed a mind splitting headache. They tried a third time, and it happened again. (He didn't climax either.)

When they returned to the United States, she saw a doctor. She had some tests done and was rushed to the hospital for surgery. It turns out she had twin aneurysms that were on the brink of bursting. Had she actually climaxed she probably would have died.

Since her surgery, L. can make love without fear of her brain exploding and she has a renewed appreciation for life.