An Old Flame Burns Brightly

X. is an attractive middle-aged woman. She has two kids -- one is grown up, and the other is almost grown up. She is a single, but in the beginning stages of an old relationship.

When X. was 20 years old she married Y. Y. adored her. He was smitten -- totally in love. X. couldn't really deal with that. She grew up in a home where there was no public displays of affection. Her mother barely hugged her, kissed her or said "I love you." Her dad was verbally abusive. So maybe Y. was a way out of that environment. You would think that was exactly what X. dreamed of -- a doting husband who loved her unequivocally. But it was just too much for her. Y. was also pathologically passive so that there was no foil for X. He just absorbed all of her behavior without any consequence.

Shortly after being married, X. had an affair with another man. She left Y. at the time. She married the other man, had two children, and they divorced soon after. Eventually she met Z. who she dated for over 8 years. Z. became a father figure for her children and even now maintains relationships with each of them.

20 years ago, when X. left Y., Y. lost it. He started doing speed. He became involved with a woman who was a user. She did speed with Y. She brought other men home and had sex with them while Y. had to watch. She eventually became pregnant, left Y. and had a baby girl. Y. knew about the baby but did not sign the birth certificate because the woman did not want him to.

Several months ago, X. found Y. on the Internet. They started corresponding. About this time, Z. who also adores X. (X. is adorable) took her for a romantic weekend. The problem with X. and Z. is that while they were very close friends and had been lovers for many years, X. was not at all physically attracted to Z. She found she always needed to have a drink before sleeping with him. So after this long romantic weekend, Z. asked X. to marry him. X. said "No, I just don't love you that way." They broke up. It was around this time that X. started reconnecting with Y.

Y. forgave X. for breaking his heart and causing him to become a speed freak. He is totally in love with X. She, of course, is still ambivalent because, while she has the benefit of maturity and experience, she still questions the veracity of any one's love for her. He wants to move to her town from across the country. She is not sure she can handle that. Also, her kids are very negative about this relationship, but probably because their allegiance lies with Z.